Franchise Dossiers
Twelve teams. Twenty-seven aliases. One season of evidence already being wildly overinterpreted.
The All Ugly Team
Scored 152.86, lost anyway, and immediately discovered that Expected Wins is a beautiful and important statistic.
OPEN THE FILE →Mr Hopkins Opus
The league-high 181.60 has given Kash exactly the amount of evidence nobody wanted him to possess.
OPEN THE FILE →Lloyd of the Rings
Henry and Flowers combined for 73.7 while the rest of us were apparently playing a different sport.
OPEN THE FILE →Royrek Tishmeshulum
Jefferson, Lamar and Goedert carried Bonanz to 160.91 and ruined an otherwise excellent All Ugly week.
OPEN THE FILE →For the Love of the Kraft
D’Andre Swift scored 38.2, which is one way to avoid having to explain much else.
OPEN THE FILE →The Route 22 Clubhouse
Won while starting Matthew Stafford for 3.3 points. This has only encouraged them.
OPEN THE FILE →Kupp Kupp Doubs
Won 143.16–130.72 while a completely unnecessary 37.8 points from Jalen Coker sat on the bench.
OPEN THE FILE →Pollard Greens
JSN, Olave and Montgomery all cooked. The Katz Brothers simply cooked more.
OPEN THE FILE →I'm a Skatt Man
Ja’Marr Chase and Jaylen Waddle combined for 4.4 points.
OPEN THE FILE →CeeDeep Shaheed
Josh Allen produced 41.26 and then watched almost everyone around him behave like this was somebody else’s emergency.
OPEN THE FILE →DarkHorse Danir
Lost by 60.46 while Brock Purdy and Kyle Monangai combined for 52 points on the bench.
OPEN THE FILE →Shake 'N Baker
Bijan scored 32.4. The rest of the active roster responded with a coordinated labor slowdown.
OPEN THE FILE →